Give a little bit

Considering this is a blog about opening up and all that jazz, I thought I would start by saying... I was never a charitable person. I have done very few things for charity and I'm sure people out there have done bugger all, and there's nothing wrong with that. Some people like charities whereas other's don't. I know a few people have always been suspicious of where the money goes once its been donated.

Everyone has participated in school charity events, remember non-school uniform days? in school that was the best news you could receive (or that school is cancelled) and it only cost £1... £1 to wear clothes that I own, then you have the pleasure of watching everyone judge you for what you wear... it was a great day. But it raised a lot for charity. Now that I'm older I wish I contributed more, what is £1 going to do?
Then we had other things like cake sales, I never bought a cake because I didn't trust them. Talent shows were a big hit... If you had a talent, I did not... although I've always wanted to try stand up comedy. I remember one year I tried ventriloquism for the day and lasted 2 hours, my puppets name was Coconut and he was monkey from Hawkins Bazaar (£29.99).
I eventually did a leg wax to raise money for a nursery and came out with over £100, that felt good but I didn't enjoy the pain and I didn't like how people donated. The more hair you had on your leg... the more donations you got, these were cynical bastards, pure evil.

That's all I've done really. Never considered a marathon because of my asthma and never looked at anything potentially dangerous because I'm a fragile twig.
As I've explained my perspective on life has changed. I want to help others as much as I can. I don't really have a reason for it other than it makes me feel better, helping someone in anyway that I can makes me feel like I've achieved something good. In a way I think that charity work has given me a new purpose. Before Uni I was stuck in a pit full of my own despair and dismay (so poetic) and lots of DVD's (see previous post). I've climbed out and smelt the fresh air.
I'm not saying that I've never been a good person, I'd actually consider myself a lovely guy to a degree. I've always enjoyed helping people with work and things like that and I'll usually put everything on hold if it means I can help someone. It's just in previous months for quite a while I couldn't be bother with anyone, why did they deserve my help? why should I waste my time when I could be watching the season finale of Breaking Bad.

So why Kilimanjaro and why Meningitis?
The university selected Meningitis as we are heavily supported by the research foundation. I honestly didn't know what it was... all I knew was that I had to get a jab, that's it.
As I've continued doing my work I've learnt a lot more about it, turns out I know people who have had it which surprised me. Doing the street collections provided me with a greater understanding of the illness, people would talk to me about their experiences and some were difficult to listen to.

Going to Africa and climbing a mountain is something I never thought I'd do, sometimes I can't even be bothered to go upstairs and that's like... 14 steps. I did it because I needed it, I'm not saying that anyone who had depression or other issues should do something like that... its risky and because I didn't think I'm incredibly worried about it all. I needed to get away and do something that would make me feel good and preferably help others around me, raising just under £3000 should hopefully do the trick. I need to enjoy life and signing up was my first step.

I intend on doing a lot more for charity and for charities that I have a personal connection with.
Depression
Cancer
and M/S, that one would be great since I believe people need to know about this and more needs to be done to combat its effects because it sucks. Diseases are assholes.

For me, charitable work is helping me redeem myself. I feel like I let a lot of people down, made enemies and lost people. I spent a lot of time blaming others and shutting them out and I dread to think what people thought and said, its almost a paranoia. Doing this will not erase or mend things but its a decent step in what I consider the right direction.
People do charitable things for all different reasons, some have been wonderful to hear. I'm simply trying to find my place in the world where I can help. I grew tired of feeling useless, I missed making people happy and I missed being happy, and the things that made me happy no longer made me happy. Honestly... I'd give anything to go back to the way I was before all the walls caved in but all I can do now is focus on whats next, the beauty of it is that I don't really know whats next for me. I have ideas and plans but only one goal.
Help people.
If I continued the way I was, I don't think I would be around anymore, I have a second chance and I'm going to do something with it.

Thanks for reading :)