Demon In A Bottle

One of the most popular drinks in Cambodia is Tarantula Brandy. A drink that includes rice liquor and freshly dead tarantulas...

Delightful!

This blog post isn't meant to educate you on alcohol... I'm going to assume you are all intelligent enough to know the inns and outs and to be honest... I don't know that much about it. If you like having a few drinks, great! who doesn't? I believe there's nothing wrong with a few drinks every now and then. Unlike the News who are determined to scare us with random statistics but 1 in 3 people will believe those statistics... (see what I did there? no?... damn)

Anyway, I wanted to talk alcohol because its relevant. I actually named this blog post after a famous Iron Man story about Tony's alcohol addiction and the name itself just nicely summarized my thoughts on it. But to truly understand my stance we must travel back to when I was in school...

I avoided alcohol for years, it didn't interest me and I was happy with a can of coke or a nice cup of tea with some chocolate bourbons, its not much to ask for. I can't even give a good reason as to why I avoided it for so long, I didn't like the effects or some of the tastes and people actually took the piss... which is bizarre, right? go ahead, take the mick about how I look but does it really bother you that much that I prefer Pepsi (80p) to a pint of beer (£3). There was a lot of peer pressure around it.

Slowly as the years went on I changed and I would reward myself with a bottle of cider or whisky on a Saturday, nothing extreme nor harmful. I cared about my results in college and I felt the easiest way to get by was to just focus, so I spent a lot of time working and doing the things I enjoyed when I had time; Drinking wasn't on the list. 

I'm also not a partier, music isn't my thing and I prefer to talk to people without having to yell or hold them up. I was labelled the designated driver... probably the nicest nickname out of my long list. 

All of that didn't bother me and I felt I hadn't missed out on anything, so everything was fine and dandy as I sipped on my cup of tea. A cup of tea is extremely important in my life style, it wakes me up and its just delicious. Drink more tea people! it warms the heart.

I started to drink as I became more isolated during the summer. Now I don't know how much alcohol is considered bad or what defines an alcoholic as an alcoholic but I'm pretty sure I was an alcoholic. Why do I think this?
Well I drank 10 days in a row... I don't think that's normal or healthy.

I did the typical thing and spoke to my counselor about alcohol in one of my sessions... it took 40 minutes. It wasn't one of those "Hi, I'm James and I'm an alcoholic" things, it was just me and the counselor sat down in a room with a candle and a dying plant. I chose to speak about it because I was worried. 

Drinking became a necessity. If I wanted to try and enjoy myself I would drink, if I wanted to sleep I would drink and if I was mad or upset I would drink. This became a regular thing that I did on my own when I had the money, luckily I had quite a bit of money. So I spent and spent and spent, and drank and drank and drank. The only positive thing that came out of it was that it helped me sleep, cider makes me incredibly tired, so 2 or 3 bottles did the job (I'm a cider fan... and I'm also a lightweight... sorry)

Lets do some maths

10 days straight= 2 or 3 bottles per night

20-30 bottles in 10 days

A bottle of cider is usually 2 units I believe

The lowest amount of units in 10 days is 40 units (20 x 2 units) 

The highest amount of units in 10 days is 60 units (30 x 2 units)

The UK Chief Medical officer recommends 14 units per week... I went over by quite a lot so my counselor brought somebody in to have a chat with me.

It became obvious that alcohol was not helping (turns out I actually needed someone to clarify that)

People drink for different reasons, usually for fun but my reasons were simply:

I wanted to sleep (I loved sleeping)

I wanted to forget

The funny thing is, it felt like it was helping. I would eventually wake up at 1:00 in the afternoon, success! I slept. Someone has asked why no one stopped me... I kept it hidden incredibly well and I would drink at small gatherings and even family days out which I'm incredibly ashamed of. But on occasion people did tell me "no more". 

Anyway, we spoke, I tried to quit which was incredibly difficult when it becomes something you rely on. But I had to look at the bigger picture, I've done semi permanent damage to my hand because I was drunk, I've broken things, wasted money and fallen asleep on 4 different toilets. Then I remembered I got drunk at 4:00 in the afternoon and I had to stumble back home... that's embarrassing (not the walking home part... that's rather fun) 4:00? I had brought drinks for everyone and ended up having them all... sorry.

I eventually cut back on drinking at the end of September 2015. But then I decided that wasn't good enough so for 2 months (ish) I avoided alcohol until I had my Pub quiz where I got free alcohol... I'm not going to refuse free drinks! I was extremely proud that I avoided it over Christmas.

Why am I telling you all this? 

Because I'm both proud and disgusted. I'm happy I cut back but disgusted that I became reliant on a drink to enjoy the normal things in life like family days out and sleep. I wouldn't recommend a 10 day binge but by all means enjoy yourself, just remember why you are drinking and take care of yourself. Don't get addicted because it's expensive and harmful and don't do it the evening before a big exam... first hand experience, it's a terrible idea! It may seem like the best idea at the time but it's not.

For whatever reason, if you feel like alcohol has become an issue in your life, the best thing to do is seek help. Doing it on your own is possible but incredibly tricky but why would you when you have people to support you, I forgot about these people. Let them help.

Finding a replacement is always healthy, I got back into reading and chewing gum. The need for a drink slowly vanished. I don't want to lecture you, if you drink alcohol... you'll die! don't be ridiculous. I understand why people drink heavily and unlike the movies, drinking doesn't help you forget. Finding a hobby helped me a lot but if you do find that you still have the craving, here's a link that I hope will be useful:

http://www.nhs.uk/Livewell/alcohol/Pages/Alcoholsupport.aspx

I just want to help. I don't want people I know or people I don't know to hurt themselves. There are people out there with worse cases and worse addictions that can no longer be controlled. If you can, help them.
I realized I've rambled on for some time, so I thought I would end on a fun note.
My drunken moments (I did this for fun but some of them were pretty serious)
1) Punching a lamppost or 2
2) Crying on toilets and kitchen floors
3) Sneezing and headbutting an oven
4) Claiming you can do a back flip in a pub (apparently you're not allowed to do that)
5) Being forced to drink water because I wasn't trusted to walk home in daylight
6) Being carried to bed (a moment where people did really care)
7) Hugging a bin
8) Trying to put a shoe on
9) Temporarily falling asleep on a bench at midnight
10) Trying to act sober when a policeman walks past you (I deserve an Oscar)
11) Calling family members whilst you stumble home... lost

Drinking can be fun but it really wasn't worth it for me. I was just trying to run from things. Enjoy it but just don't over do it... you have nothing to prove and no one to impress. If it becomes a problem, talk to someone before it intensifies.

Thanks for reading!