Sleeping has occasionally been a problem for me.
I remember in school (year 6, maybe) I had some difficulties sleeping, the doctors said my brain was too active, I would later learn that this was an understatement. The whole situation confused me and it wasn't an easy fix... just an incredibly long waiting game. I was extremely young so I didn't really know what to do with myself and not sleeping made me bored, so I would get me and my brothers uniform ready for school and walk around before taking a pillow and falling asleep in the hallway upstairs... surprisingly comfortable. But I knew it was a phase that everyone would go through at some point. I should note... back then I only had 4 channels on my box TV and the Hoobs wasn't on until 5, I had nothing to do.
I know a lot of people who stay up late, I don't mind staying up late because it means I can do more. But there are days where I miss going to sleep at 10:00 then waking up at 7:30... 9 and a half hours sleep! that's like winning the lottery! but now I probably doze off at around 2:00.
The real problem occurred during my depressive state. I think I would have called it a sleeping disorder, maybe.
I stopped sleeping all together, pretty much. At first it wasn't that I couldn't sleep, I didn't want to sleep. I was having nightmares which is actually a horrible experience, you wake up sweating and sometimes even in tears.
Because I didn't want them anymore I decided the best way was to not sleep (Genius idea!). These weren't typical nightmares like ghosts or zombies, they were actually memories that became distorted- in fact I remember writing some down.
I kept this going for quite a while, it was normal to me, going to bed at 5:00 was fine. I then realized that I was human... a lack of sleep took its toll on me, it affected my eating pattern to the point where I didn't actually have one and anything that I did eat would eventually come back up. This affected my motivation at college which was low already but this just plummeted it even lower. The weekends would go extremely quickly because I wouldn't get out of bed until 1-2 o'clock... why? I believed there was nothing out there so I stayed in my bed. I quickly learnt that I did in fact need to sleep but... I now couldn't because I was so use to not sleeping.
The other big problem was that I'm a slight hypochondriac which means I worry too much. My brain is very active and sometimes I can't seem to control the thought process.
Brain: what if someone breaks in whilst everyone's asleep and takes all the money...
Me: Good point, I better stay up.
Sometimes my brain will jump to conclusions about life and it was very good at doing this as soon as I got into bed.
I tried many things to control this situation. I'm going to share them with you and maybe recommend some, but sleeping disorders are extremely difficult to control I think, it becomes a habit, a way of life. For me it was trial and error.
1) Warm milk- I don't even understand this one but it didn't work for me... I think it's a lie
2) Reading- I love reading and it definitely made me more tired, the difficulty is finding a decent book. Reading a book is something that a lot of people don't do anymore but I'd encourage reading (NERD!!!)
3) Drink alcohol- works extremely well but not advised, unless you get a thrill from waking up with headaches.
4) Watch TV- I don't care what the doctors say... an episode of Family Guy or American Dad would help settle me. Personally I would recommend it as long as the screen isn't centimeters away from your face
5) Sleeping tablets- not the herbal remedies, the proper stuff. I wouldn't recommend mainly because they didn't do anything and I didn't want to rely on a tablet (which is also why I stopped anti-depressants)
6) Herbal tablets- what a load of crap, if they work for you... then great! but a smack to the head would do a better job
7) Crying- a good cry can go along way, even to the point where you fall asleep. Again not advised... you wake up in an extremely bad mood. Whats worse is that people enjoy telling you that you're in a bad mood. It did help and it let me relieve a lot of built up feelings but going to sleep in a tranquil state is so satisfying (I miss it a lot)
8) Meditation- it's an interesting concept but I couldn't help but think about the things that made me feel this way... which then made me sad... which then made me cry... so it helped me sleep... I'd stick to meditating during the day.
9) Sleep somewhere else- I didn't sleep in my bed for 3 months (no joke) I would alternate between downstairs on the sofa and the end of my bed, I would use a dressing gown as a cover. This is going to sound crazy and stupid but... I could not find the mental courage to get into bed.
10) Don't sleep- If you can't sleep... embrace it! you'll have so much more time to worry about everything whilst watching a tv program with subtitles because you don't want to wake anyone up.
11) Do a puzzle- I did some of my Game of Thrones puzzle at 4:00... it really highlighted how crap I am at completing puzzles because I probably did about 3 pieces in an hour (in my defense, I was not wearing my glasses)
10) Don't sleep- If you can't sleep... embrace it! you'll have so much more time to worry about everything whilst watching a tv program with subtitles because you don't want to wake anyone up.
11) Do a puzzle- I did some of my Game of Thrones puzzle at 4:00... it really highlighted how crap I am at completing puzzles because I probably did about 3 pieces in an hour (in my defense, I was not wearing my glasses)
Sleeping habits or problems (deprivation... is that the word?) can be caused by so many things: depression, anxiety, over-active brain, stress and even eating habits (science said so).
It is really about finding something that you're comfortable with, if you're not comfortable with taking tablets... don't. The key is to finding a way to keep yourself relaxed, preferably without the influence of a bright screen. Having said that... here's what I do
I read a few chapters of my book (currently reading about Hitler waking up in 2011... yep)
I then put an earphone in and listen to a YouTuber like Pewdiepie, Jacksepticeye, Matthias & Amanda and sometimes Matthew Santoro or Good Mythical Morning. It relaxes me a lot and I can't listen to music because I listen to loud/explosive soundtracks (Man of Steel) or sad ones (Inception). I find listening to a Vlog is very soothing.
The toughest bit about it all was just staying up, finding something to preoccupy yourself with. I had gained a few extra hours that I could use productively... instead I sat and thought, self harmed, played Clash of Clan, did some more thinking and then rounded it off with a good old fashioned sulk. I think normal people would try and sleep but I didn't want to so I would force myself to stay up. The idea of reliving or having a lack of control over what was dreamt frightened me. Waking up in the middle of the night scared or upset isn't the nicest experience in the world, its disorientating and infuriating.
But sleep is a necessity (who knew) and I think it's something that stays with a lot of people during their life-time, an on-and-off phase.
I can survive with the amount of sleep that I get, i'm just happy that I actually want to sleep and that I find some comfort in it now but it can still be a problem for me.
I would avoid long naps during the day... as great as they are, they can ruin your sleeping pattern!
Thanks for reading :)
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