University

University is such a big step up from College. College kinda felt like School where you are force fed information and instructed on how to use it. I had nothing to worry about... if I was doing an essay I know that if I handed it to my teacher they would correct it and tell me what needed doing.
University is a different experience entirely, you get to write based on your interests. I've written an essay on Star Wars, Arrow and Game of Thrones... it's heaven. You are also free to write the way you want as long as it meets the correct marking criteria, whats the point if we all write the same way?

So far I've loved it, I feel like an adult now... I'm paying rent, taking care of money, thinking about the future, even buying my own lunch. The work has been great, especially in the practical unit where we get to make a short film. The lecturers are fun and down to earth... one even apologized for being a c*** (his words, not mine). I even managed to make friends, I know! you're just as surprised as I am. Uni gave me something to do, something to think about and something to focus on.

But how on earth did I get there?
I've mentioned before that I in fact, failed College. I got bad results (apart from in Media) and did not get the points required to join Portsmouth University... what a kick in the balls, that one hurt. I came home after my results and made some of them up... Sorry. But I was certain that I had enough points, I was so sure that I had scraped the boundary... but no. I punched my computer chair and concluded that it was over, there was nothing else to be done apart from move away to Alaska and live my life as an Eskimo. My good friend talked me through the 'Clearing' process where there is a second opportunity to get into Uni and thanks to him... I got it.
Then came another dilemma which almost cost me my space. For some reason the information they had given me to sign up with the Uni did not work (fan...tastic) they then set me a time to complete my registration before it was given to someone else. It wasn't a week or a day, it was a few hours, people were fighting to get into Portsmouth University. I eventually got it sorted and it turned out that because my application was rejected so were all my details... I did not exist on their database.

Everyone congratulated me like I had won the lottery, I was just given a second chance and it took me a while to accept that. For a long time and even now I sometimes believe that I shouldn't be at Uni, not because I don't want to be but because I didn't earn it. Not to be big headed but... I should have been accepted into Uni without an issue, the required points were within my reach, I was a decent student. My first year was great, I had some promising results and produced work I was happy with. The first year of College saved my ass, they saw my results from the first year which I had to send in and it became obvious that something went wrong. I didn't lose the ability to write an essay or answer questions about networks, I simply decided not to. I actually got drunk the night of my ICT exam... seemed like a good idea at the time.
My body goes through a set of motions before an exam, I get nervous, I bite my nails and I chew gum... they are good signs I think, because it shows I care. I didn't experience that at all during my second year exams, it wasn't me being over-confident, I simply didn't care. I've made exam hiccups before... in my French exam for example... "things to take to the beach" I thought Douche was toothbrush, people apparently take toothbrushes to the beach, but at least I gave it a go. I must have been accidentally racist twice towards Barack Obama in my media exam but hey, I got the marks!

The way I saw it was that
Fail= No Uni
End of story, No buts! No ifs! No Uni for you!
I felt as though I didn't deserve the opportunity to secure my space because I didn't even try, some poor soul probably worked their ass off and didn't get the result they wanted, they should have had that place instead of me who thought skipping a 20 mark question would be okay (I drew a superman logo on the desk instead, then had a panic attack in the toilet).
I'm now doing literally everything I can to prove myself wrong, I do deserve this. With the year almost over I've done some pretty decent work, some pieces even being marked as a First which surprised me a lot, I'm apparently good at stuff.

I also know what I want to do now, but I'm going to leave that for another post.